When Do You Stop Going Back?
by yminnie
Summary: So this is just a little Stinglu one shot, it's written loosely based on the song Angels by Mayday Parade (really it depends on how you interpret the song though), and it's pretty much just a long drabble, like a really long drabble.


**So this is just a little Sticy one shot, it's written loosely based on the song** **Angels by Mayday Parade** **(really it depends on how you interpret the song though), and it's pretty much just a long drabble, like a really long drabble.**

 **I've written Sting closer to how he was during the Grand Magic games (though this story is AU) because one of the reasons Sting is my favourite character in Fairy Tail is because of his cocky attitude. I see too many fanfictions where he is this little cry baby who falls hopelessly in love with a girl and bends to her every whim, but I don't think that's the kind of person Sting really is.**

 **So all characters are around 21 and currently most of them are studying at the same University.**

 **And obviously the words in italics are the song lyrics.**

 **Written all from Lucy's point of view**

 ** _Three years of something I call love  
When the phone calls and photographs were never enough  
To save a heart that's been broken so close to screaming_**

"Sting not in public, people are staring at us," I harshly whisper struggling against his toned arms as he holds my back tightly against his chest, gently nibbling at my ear.

His grip doesn't loosen an inch, "I'm just showing affection for my girlfriend, don't act like you don't enjoy it." His voice as silky smooth as it's ever been, his breath brushes lightly against the exposed skin of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.

I push back against him, not allowing him to affect me like this, "Come on, we'll just get some lunch and then we'll go home."

He continues holding me for a moment before letting his arms fall to his side with a sigh, "Fine." I turn around to face him, not wanting him upset with me.

"How about we just grab some take away then?"

His eyes light up at my words, before I know it I'm enveloped within his arms once again.

"Have I told you that I love you recently?" He asks me, placing a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

I can't help the childish giggle that escapes my throat at his actions. "No you haven't." I struggle within his grasp again, so I can this time place my hands on either side of his face. "I love you too." And place a quick kiss on his lips.

He smiles slightly, releasing me from his arms and slinging one of them casually over my shoulders as we begin walking to our destination once again. I steal glances at him every so often wondering how it took me so long to appreciate Sting for the man that he is. Three years ago, after he continuously tried to win me over I caved, deciding to give him a chance, and it took off from there. I can never seem to get enough of him.

We walk like that for a while, getting closer to our destination, I feel comforted tucked under Sting's arm, I thought perhaps walking like this would be hard for him but his face shows no sign of discomfort so I snuggle in closer against his side. As we reach the row of shops I disentangle myself from Sting's side and walk over to the book shop, as he goes to order our food. I place my hands against the glass scanning over all the books I want to buy once I get paid and commit them to memory. Slightly annoyed that I don't have the cash to buy any right now, I turn around about to make my way over to Sting when I see it.

Sting stands leaning against the counter talking with one of the employers who was laughing flirtatiously at something he had just said. I stand there rooted to the spot watching them. He leans in closer to her ear and whispers something, causing her to giggle and playfully slap his upper arm, before it comes to rest next to his on the counter way too close for my liking. At that I stride over, linking my arm through his, putting on my best fake smile for the girl.

"Did you order already, babe?" I ask sweetly, pushing myself against him.

He looks shocked for a moment before showing his trademark smile and places his hand on mine, all the while the girl at the counter's eyes shooting daggers at me.

"Yeah, this girl just gave us a discount so I was thanking her," He explains, gesturing to the girl.

I look up at her keeping my smile perfectly in place, "Oh, well that was nice of her."

She doesn't reply as she turns around and grabs our food from another employee that had just brought it out.

"Here you are," she says just as sweetly as I had before and hands the takeaway bag to Sting, I don't miss the way she makes sure her hand brushes his, or the smile he gives her as we start to leave. I push that thought to the back of my head, Sting's with me after all.

 ** _This can't be happening; I must be dreaming  
What's the worst that could happen? I never knew_**

"Levy what are you talking about?" I ask the blue haired girl, angry at her accusation.

She puts her hands up in front of her defensively. "I'm just telling you what I saw. I didn't want you to find out from someone else."

I take deep breaths attempting to calm myself down; I can't believe this was happening. "Please, just tell me again."

She gives me one of her signature sympathy looks, "Lucy do you really want me to go through it all again?"

"Yes, I need to hear it again Levy. Just tell me," I snap at her.

She sighs, not at all intimidated by my tone. "Like I said, yesterday I was on campus getting my books when I saw Sting; I was going to go over and say hi to him but a girl with long brown hair walked over to him first. At first I assumed she was one someone from one of his classes, seeing as I didn't recognise her, but then he leant in and kissed her and I don't mean a little peck, it definitely wasn't the type of kissing two people should be doing in public. And I thought Sting's always been kind of, how should I say this," she looks me in the eye as she thinks, "well kind of a dick. So I thought maybe you two had broken up and he was with this new girl. But obviously this is not the case, judging from your reaction." She finishes talking, her face showing so much sympathy for me I almost couldn't stand it.

"You say she had long brown hair?" Thinking back to the girl who worked in the food van we were at the other day, it was hard to tell if her hair was long due to it being in a hair net, but I think it was.

"Yeah. Why do you think you know who it is? Does she go to our school?"

"I'm not sure if she goes to our school, but I think I know who it is," My anger boiling just underneath the surface. I need to speak with Sting.

"I wish I could say something like 'I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason for what I saw' but in this case I think it's pretty clear what happened."

Of course she's right, the bastard cheated on me.

 ** _When all I ever wanted was to get away from you,  
but now the possible is impossible and I can't refuse  
Grab all your dreams and raise all your glasses_**

I sit contently on my couch trying to come out with a plan of attack to deal with Sting. There's no way I'm staying with the dick after he's done this. Not coming up with a great deal I grab a novel off of the coffee table, and sit back against the couch happy to just read for now, I can deal with him later.

After a while I hear a loud knocking on my front door, sighing I place the book back onto the coffee table and go answer it. I check the clock on the walk over and see that it's only been twenty minutes since I sat down, whoever it is better have a good reason for disrupting me. I open the door an inch to reveal Sting standing there grinning at me as if he wasn't cheating on me earlier. I seriously consider slamming the door closed and telling him to fuck off, but I just can't.

"What do you want?" That came out harsher than I had intended it to, I don't want him to know that something's wrong until I can figure out how to handle this.

He doesn't seem fazed. "I just wanted to see you." When I make no move to open the door more his smile falters slightly. "Can I come in?"

"I'm busy," I whisper, not looking him in the eye.

He leans forward, his face now extremely close to the door I'm half hiding myself behind. "Too busy to spend time with me?"

I rack my brain for some sort of excuse but he beats me to it.

"May I ask what's keeping you so busy? Or do you just not want to spend time with me?"

"No I do, I just. I- I'm reading." I stutter, how weak.

I expected him to be angry that I was blowing him off to read but he just laughs, though it wasn't his usual laugh, there was a slight edge to it.

"Oh come on. If you let me in I'm sure we can find something more fun than reading to keep us busy." He smiles. "Come on; tell me what's really going on."

"I just-, I ah,-," he continues staring at me with those deep blue eyes, what am I doing? The guy cheated on me, why am I so torn between letting him come in and slamming the door in his face? The right action seems so simple, so why can't I close the door? The thing is that he's not pressuring me; he's not moving an inch towards or away from me until I give him an answer. Somehow that way of thinking makes me move to the side and open the door, allowing him inside.

"Thanks babe." He says, leaning down to kiss my cheek before walking into my apartment.

 ** _Let's toast to the lucky ones  
To the boy that just broke my heart  
I can't breathe after all that you've told me  
You took my heart and made me melt again_**

An hour later I'm resting my head on Sting's bare chest my body curled into his side, he keeps his arms to himself, he was never one for cuddling. I always think about getting a bigger bed but I like that I have to press myself against Sting in order for us both to fit.

"What do you see in me, Lucy?" He asks after a while, once our breathing began to return to normal.

"What do you mean?" Where has this come from?

"I'm asking why you deem me the right guy for you to have a relationship with. Why did you choose me?" He doesn't look at me while he speaks.

I think for a moment, we've been together just over three years so of course there has to be a reason or two, other than his obvious good looks I saw something more in Sting. "I guess I like a challenge."

His eyes look down at me, a questioning look in his furrowed brow.

"What I mean is that no, you weren't the ideal guy to date when we first met. You were rude and cocky and thought you were the best guy in the room, but somehow that intrigued me. I'm not saying that the last three years have been easy and that you're not still a cocky asshole but at points in our relationship I've seen parts of you that I don't think you've ever shown to anyone else, and each time it made me fall for you even more." I hope that sufficed.

He doesn't say anything for a while, just stares back up at the ceiling; he was never an easy guy to talk to not when it came to these types of conversations, he constantly kept his feelings hidden.

"You love me." He says finally, more like he's stating a fact than asking a question.

"Well yes."

"If you're looking for love and romance and someone who will promise to always be there for you, then I'm not the right guy for you." He turns his head to stare at me eyes as soft as I've ever seen them in the lone light that illuminates the room, I shift slightly rolling over onto my side to look at him properly. "I don't do love, but there is something about you that keeps drawing me in, something that's making me willing to give you what I can. Though I feel that might not be enough for you." That came out of nowhere.

I stare at him, trying to make sense of all that he's telling me, we've never spoken like this before. I know I should just tell him to leave, knowing that he cheated, but it's just like he said no matter what he's done there is something that keeps drawing me back to him. I lower my eyes, wishing for a way to turn this situation around, a small part of me wishes he would hold me, comfort me with his arms, but in this moment that's not realistic. I now see that his hands do not know how too carefully caress a fragile body such as mine, the only thing they're made for is hurting, for destroying. He's destroying everything.

"So what can you do for me?" I look right into his eyes as I whisper.

He ponders my question for a moment; I want desperately to know what he's thinking. "I can promise to try and love you until I find someone else."

Oh.

"So I should just be comforted by the fact that you haven't found someone better than me in the three years we've been seeing each other?" I can feel myself getting angry; I lift my body up to rest on my elbows so I can see him better.

He rolls onto his side, resting his head in his hand. "I'm just trying to be honest with you. You know I'm actually surprised you've stayed with me for as long as you have, knowing what I've done."

"Knowing what you've done?" I ask, wishing for him to explain to me what he means.

"You know what I did the other day, I can tell. You're different around me, as if you're afraid to touch me. And when you didn't let me in your apartment straight away I knew something was up. How did you find out?"

"Levy saw you on campus," I reply sadly.

"I guess that serves me right for being so public about it." He says, chuckling softly.

I don't reply for a while, how can he so calm while talking to me about this? I mean he's freely admitting that he cheated on me, though he's acting as if he's telling me about his day. "You know, I can't even give you a reason why I've stayed with you," I say, rolling myself onto my back.

I can feel his eyes boring into me. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I reply, closing my eyes and for now will myself to sleep.

 ** _I could never imagine we'd end up this way  
After all that we went through now I'm fighting through the pain  
It's like this heart that's been broken is so close to screaming  
Was ripped from my chest and I can't stop the bleeding_**

"Why are you even still with him?" Levy asks me, concern in her eyes.

I lean back in my chair, feeling small under the scrutiny of my friends. Gray's black eyes stare at me filled with annoyance, to an outsider's eye they may think Gray was annoyed at me but while he was in fact projecting that emotion onto me he was annoyed at what Sing had done. Natsu was having a hard time remaining in his seat, his hands clenched into fists on the table we all sat at. He was never a huge fan of Sting.

I look at all of them before finding my voice, however small, "I can't leave him."

"Lucy the guy cheated on you, if he's done it once there's nothing to stop him from doing it again. And that's assuming he's only done it once," Gray says, leaning towards me.

"I say we go and confront him, let him know that he can't get away with this," Natsu says angrily, starting to get out of his chair. Levy pulls him back down telling him to stop getting so worked up.

"Look I'm sure there's a good reason for you not being able to leave him, right Lucy?" Levy's eyes are practically pleading for me to confirm her theory. But I can't, there is no good enough reason. Except for the fact that I loves Sting.

I look at her for a moment, knowing that I can't give her what she wants but having to say it anyway. "I love him."

"Oh Lucy," she looks at me with sympathy, but doesn't say anything else.

 ** _Now we all fall for the bad ones  
They'll just break us cause we're so young, dumb and vulnerable  
Young and vulnerable_**

Sting's dorm room is tiny, only big enough to just fit his bed, he insists on having a double instead of the regular single, and his study desk that's used more as a space where everything gets chucked as opposed to its main purpose. He sits on the edge of his unmade bed looking up at me with a strained look from where I stand in front of his closed door. I was here for one reason and one reason only, to get to the bottom of Sting's cheating.

"How many times has it happened?" I'm not even sure why I'm willingly putting myself through this but I have to know, I have to know how long this has been going on for.

He looks over my face as if that will make him decided whether he should open his mouth or not.

He remains silent.

"You know, three years ago I almost didn't take the chance on you. Everyone was telling me to stay away from you, that you were bad news. And I understood their concerns, I really did. But a big part of me didn't care. At first yeah, you were just a pretty face, as I'm sure I was to you though now I'm not so sure about your motives after hearing the truth, but for me your looks turned into only a small part of why I fell for you. And I did Sting, I really did and I can't understand why you've done this. Did I not give you enough? Am I not enough to keep you entertained, to keep you only wanting me? Did I do something?" I'm surprised at how level my voice is.

He continues to stare at me; I wish I knew what he was thinking. He suddenly runs his hands harshly through his already messy hair, pulling at the ends. "You want the truth?" I hear him say, not looking at me.

"Yes." I move closer, kneeling down in front of him. I grab his hands pulling them away so I can see his face. He lets me. "Yes, that's all I want."

"She wasn't the only one."

I clench my teeth to stop from yelling, I told him to be honest. "How many?"

He looks me right in the eye. "Maybe four. I never actually dated any of them, but I've seen them at different times during our three years together."

"Why?" My tone once again taking on a pleading edge, I shake his hands that I'm still clutching to.

"I don't have a good enough reason. I don't know why."

"Did you have feelings for any of them?" I would think not if he didn't stay with them, but I needed him to say it anyway.

"No."

"So it was just sex?"

"Yes."

"I still don't understand -," I begin but he cuts me off, switching our hands so he's now clutching onto mine.

"If you came here for an explanation for why I did what I did then you're not going to get one, only due to the fact that I don't have one and I don't want to lie to you. So you can either take it at that or continue hurting yourself as you try and look for an answer."

"I just want to know if I did something to make you do this." I say, hoping he can at least give me a straight answer for that.

His mouth lifts up into a small smile, as he lets a chuckle pass his lips. "No, no you didn't."

Beyond that I don't know what to say so I just stare at him, our hands still entwined as I remain kneeling in front of him. He suddenly yanks my hands pulling me up so I straddle his lap, I let out a shocked yelp as I land on him.

He grins at me. "Stay with me tonight." It wasn't a question.

I think over what the right thing to do is for only a second before I nod my head slowly, and feel his lips press forcefully against mine.

 ** _You ripped apart these pages  
Our book was overrated  
This brings up all these questions, tell me what just happened_**

I'm shocked awake suddenly by my phone buzzing somewhere in the room. I look around frantically trying to figure out where the sound is coming from, I determine it to be on the floor still in the back pocket of my jeans that Sting threw off me and across the room in our frenzy last night. I sigh pulling the blanket higher to cover myself and carefully lean over Sting who's amazingly still asleep. I place my hand lightly on his bare chest before moving it to the edge of the bed and hoist myself as quickly as I can over him. I'm almost off the bed when I feel him grab my arm pulling me down on top of him.

"Sting!" I yell, startled at his sudden action. He immediately grabs my head and smashes his lips to mine licking his tongue across my bottom lip silently asking for me to open my mouth; as soon as I do he takes the opportunity and runs his tongue along mine. I let out a soft moan as he runs his hands over my hips, sending shivers running down my spine. I vaguely notice my phone has stopped ringing and I begin to get lost in Sting, deeming the call unimportant, that was until a second later when my ringtone starts up again. I pull away from Sting, leaving him pouting as I lean over the edge of the bed and grab my phone, still straddling him. I look at the caller ID and see Levy's name, I sigh pressing the button to answer the call and place it to my ear.

"Hey Levy. How are you?" I say as casually as I can from my current position.

"Good thanks." A momentary pause. "Hey, ah Lucy, where are you right now?"

Shit. My eyes widen slightly as I look at Sting who's placing his mouth and hands everywhere over my body. I let out an involuntary moan, and he chuckles. I hope Levy didn't hear that.

"Lucy?" I hear Levy say through the phone again.

"Ah, I'm at home." I lie, hoping it sounds convincing as Sting moves his lips up to my neck.

"Oh that's funny. I'm at your house too, you have me your spare key a few weeks ago so I could drop some things off, but you're not here." Levy says annoyance in her voice.

"I-Is that right?" I stutter slightly as another shiver racks through my body.

"So where are you?" She asks again.

Sting begins sucking slightly at my collarbone leaving what I'm sure is purplish marks against my pale skin. "Ah-I'm, ah." I can't get a sentence out as he continues.

"You're with Sting, aren't you?" She says I can hear her getting pissed.

"W-What? With Sting? No I'm not with Sting." He lifts his lips off my skin slightly to chuckle, I feel it vibrate through my chest. I rack my brain for some sort of excuse. "No I'm at the library on campus. I, ah!" I let out a particularly loud yelp as Sting nibs at my skin, grazing his teeth against me while bucking his hips up slightly forcing me to feel his hardness. "I thought I'd get some study in you know, f-finals and all." I hope she bought that.

"Okay, well I'll head over now then."

Before I can even get a word in she's hung up the phone and I panic. I push Sting away from me and scramble off the bed taking the blanket with me; he looks at me in shock. I run around what little space the room has trying to find all my clothes. Bra, bra, where is my god damn bra? I turn frantically before hearing a whistle come from the bed, I look over and see Sting lying there dangling my purple lace bra casually off his finger. I take a step forward and snatch it off of him and head into the tiny bathroom.

"So where are you off to so early?" He asks casually, I can hear him shuffling around in his room probably looking for his clothes.

"I have to go meet Levy at the library," I reply, running my hands through my hair before putting it into a messy high bun. Looks presentable enough.

"And that couldn't have waited until after," he says, leaning against the bathroom doorframe.

"No, because I-," I stop myself. Should I tell him that my friends are trying to get me to break up with him. Before I get a chance to continue he speaks.

"Your friends don't want you seeing me, is that right?"

I look down. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Well I guess that's fair enough. I'll see you later then." He says, leaning back slightly so I can get past him.

I walk over to the dorm door before turning back and placing a chaste kiss on his lips, "I'll see you later." And then I was gone.

~~.~~

Thankfully by the time I get to the library Levy isn't here so I sit down at an empty table and wait for her, hoping she's not to curious about why I lied to her.

Not five minutes later her head of blue hair is walking through the library doors, I put my hand up and wave her down. She sits opposite me eyeing me suspiciously.

"What is it?" I ask her.

"You look like you've just had sex." I gulp.

"W-What?" I stutter how would she know that.

She looks at me with a cocked eyebrow as if to say that it's obvious. "Your hairs put up into the 'it's too tangled to wear out so I'll just put it up' after sex bun, you have hickies on your collarbones," she looks at me closely for a second, "and your shirts on inside out."

I look down at my top quickly and see that she's right, I groan letting my head fall with a thud to the table.

"So you were with Sting, then." It's more of a statement than a question, though of course if my moaning through the phone when she called was any clue, she already knew.

"Maybe." I whisper, feeling as if I should be ashamed.

"Lucy, why are you so stupid?" She half yells before looking around and lowering her voice. "Haven't we already talked about this?"

"He's my boyfriend; I'm allowed to have sex with him if I want to." I say, getting mad.

"He's a cheater is what he is," she mumbles.

"Shut up," I have to physically stop myself from yelling at her.

She shrinks back slightly. "He's going to hurt you Lucy; I don't want that to happen."

I stand up from the table getting ready to leave. "Whatever happens will happen and I'll be fine. He's just a boy after all."

She doesn't say anything.

I turn my back on her starting to walk out of the library. "See you later Levy."

 ** _I put your picture in a frame that stands at the side of my bed  
So whenever I get sad I can stare at your face  
And hope and pray that I won't forget_**

I lay in my bed, cursing myself for wishing that Sting was here, I long for the comfort of his arms around me. I twist my body over trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in but there isn't one. Sighing I sit up and turn on my bedside lamp, perhaps I'll get some reading done. I begin to reach for the novel I'd left next to my bed last night when my eyes catch a glimpse of the framed photo sitting on my bedside table. I pick it up, book now forgotten on the floor and stare at it. It's of Sting and I early in our relationship when I thought we were perfect for each other. We were on a double date with Levy and some guy who had asked her out, she instead we come along as she wasn't interested in him but didn't want to say no. It wasn't a regular photo you would take as a couple; instead it was a snap that Levy had taken on her phone. It was a side profile of me as I stared up at the sky that I remember being almost perfectly clear that night, the stars looked like they were alive twinkling in the endless black of the night. Sting sat a fair distance away from me, I remember asking him why he wasn't looking at the sky and he had chuckled, telling me that he had found something even better to look at than a black twinkling nothingness. It was only after Levy had printed the photo and given it to me that I realised he had been talking about me.

He told me he can't love me, but the look on his face captured in this photo forever told me that he was capable of it.

 ** _When all I remember is talking is cheap and your lies were expensive  
And god only knows when I'll come to my senses  
Now I can't breathe at all_**

It was a few days later when I finally see Sting again, I still have no idea what I'm going to do. The guy straight up told me he's cheated on me with as far as I know four other girls, so obviously I should leave him. I wish it were that simple. We were in the park near out university, I wanted to be in public but not to public so I told him to meet me here. It wasn't ten minutes into seeing him that I once again brought up his other girls.

"Will you stop messing around with other girls?" I ask him.

"I don't know if I can make that promise." He says; I wish now that he had continued to lie to me.

"Why is it such a hard thing to promise me?" I hate the pleading tone that sneaks its way into my voice.

"It's not hard, I just won't do it." He says bluntly.

"What is wrong with you?" I yell angrily, not caring if there are other people around who might hear us.

"You know I ask myself the same thing every day, but just because I'm aware of it doesn't mean I can give you what you want." Sting answers, he looks slightly bored. "Why are you trying so hard to keep me? It's obvious that I'm bad for you."

"Because I don't want to feel like I've wasted three years of my fucking life, Sting. If it's a problem that can be fixed then I want to fix it, but you're making this so difficult." I yell again, getting up in his face.

"No, I'm not. I gave you an answer; you're just not accepting it." That bored look never leaves his face.

"Because I want to know why. Why can't you just give me what I want? Why is it so hard for you?" Why am I continuing to push this so much?

"You're making this harder on yourself, Lucy. If you just left me when you first found out then you would have been fine, but you stayed. I have no idea why you stayed." He was right, god of course he's right. But I couldn't just leave him.

"Because for some reason I love you." Why do I love him?

"Then I'll do you a favour."

He takes a step closer to me, grabbing my chin gently with his hand forcing me to look up at him before he connects our lips. He doesn't do anything more than touch his lips against mine, doesn't try to deepen the kiss he just stays like that. I don't react, half due to having no idea what's going on. He pulls back slightly after a moment looking right into my eyes.

"Goodbye, Lucy Heartfilia."

And he just walks away.

 ** _Tell me what just happened_**

A week later my heads still reeling from my fight with Sting, I haven't called him and he hasn't tried to contact me, so I just let it be. That was until I spot him sitting by himself on campus staring at nothing in particular. I have a question I need to ask. My confidence wavers slightly as I stroll up to him, stopping only a foot away. I take a breath centering myself before blurting out.

"Did you ever love me?"

I'm absolutely terrified of his answer

He looks up at me, real sadness present in his blue eyes for the first time. He sighs. "No, but I wish that I did."

It was my turn to walk away.

 **Every time I sit down to write it's always sad, well no sad is probably a bad word but I can't seem to write a happy scenario, it's rather hard for me. This ended up becoming something that I had not intended to write, not that I had a clear vision of where I was going to take this to begin with, but it was still extremely difficult to write, it took me forever.**

 **Now I can understand if people think that Lucy is an idiot for staying with Sting, but I personally feel like she is a really forgiving person and that she would do anything in her power to make things work. You'd be amazed at how willing someone is to break themselves for the person they love.**

 **I do hope that you enjoyed reading it nonetheless.**


End file.
